Sometimes when I am in a certain mood I should not write, but since I couldn’t resist (the words made me do it and wouldn’t allow anything else) I’ll go ahead anyways…
I had gone into the income tax office with a bowl of spicy chicken noodle soup for my accountant Irvine, who was feeling under the weather. I had met Irvine at an art festival years ago and he had been my accountant ever since. It was the end of tax season and Irvine was wound up so tight that you could hear the tendons creak when he turned his head at my entry. One would think that the jump rope he had by his desk would allow him some relief-but the man never used it. Perhaps we could change that…
It was at this time every year that I planned my visits. It was during this time of year, almost like at Halloween, when I left being a paragon of virtue at home and became a different person…
To alleviate some of the tension I used our old greeting “Hello mynheer”
As expected he responded back “I see you’ve come to give me sustenance wench!” We grinned at the old joke. I placed the tureen of soup in front of him and sat back in the chair facing the desk as he lifted the lid.
My skirt had slid up just a little bit as I sat-It was an already short skirt and I saw that he looked. I was focusing on the new picture of the wall behind his head as I slowly crossed my legs. I heard a sigh just as I lifted my left leg to cross over my right. “It is a lovely picture, Irvine. I had no idea you liked such things…”
“Well, I saw it and thought it would be a nice complement to the office.” His eyes remained on the hem of the skirt-wondering if it would go just a little higher.
“The-blush of the fruit is so tantalizing don’t you think?” Studying the picture a little closer, I knew eventually I would have to get up for a closer look, but in a little bit perhaps.
“Yes. Tantalizing. I never thought a flowering plum tree could be so tantalizing. Erotic even. “
“Yes, erotic. Like the taste of a fine organic tea that you swill around with your tongue.” I heard a gulp as I continued to stare at the painting.
On the prefix of needing to stretch I raised my arms above my head and pushed out my chest, swaying side to side. The sound of the spoon dropping made me turn to Irvine. “All done?” I asked innocently.
“No, just a little slippery is all. Why don’t you go ahead and take a closer look?”
“Really? I can get closer?” I tugged on the diamond earrings in my ear as I considered. Closer might be pulling on the tigers tail a bit much but I really needed a closer look. I could feel the anticipation building as I slowly stood up. I stretched again and considered the Dutch treat I was about to receive. I grabbed the jump rope on the way, slowly winding it around my wrists and sliding it through my hands, caressing it as I gamboled toward the desk. It was like at last weeks book club, when the bats in the belfry escaped and sent everyone’s heart pounding. I let the anticipation build, letting an errant though stray past. I wondered if this was what it felt like when the cow jumped over the moon.