The basis of tonight’s blog was overhearing a conversation between two teenage boys. I shake my head just thinking of it and then wonder at what point did our society get to be this way? The conversation was, surprisingly about kissing. One teen was telling another teen that kissing was overrated and to just wait for marriage. My first response-which was vocalized-was “then you’re not doing it right!” the idea that kissing was overrated! Oh my Goddess! And then I thought about what he was saying. When was the last time you ever heard anyone discussing the romance of a kiss? When was the last time any of us had observed someone kissing without the intent to crawl down another’s throat or a prelude to sex? Had I ever-Yes! But it has been a very long time. Mostly I observe people sticking ones tongue down someone else’s throat. During my drive home I thought and thought about this and decided I had to write about it-The Kiss that is. If this offends anyone-not my intent of course-or you have a disagreement please let me know. I have only a female perspective, so all of you Gents out there that would like to add in please feel free to do so-the women too! Of course all comments are looked forward to and I cannot wait to see what you all think.
Kissing should not be something that one embarks upon as an after thought. It does not necessarily need tonsil hockey to occur-though it can. Kissing isn’t-contrary to popular belief, sucking the other persons face, nor is slobbering all over a person. When completed, one should not have to wipe their face, neck or other body part with a cloth to get dry. A first kiss, whether it is the very first kiss or the first kiss for an evening or just with someone new should not, I repeat not, start off with one’s tongue or teeth in another person’s mouth.
What a kiss should be is a form of communication. Kissing should be a prelude to something even better. No-not sex (though that is good too) but to that infinite something more. A person communicates with their hands. Tucking a strand of hair behind a person’s ear, placing your palm against their neck or cupping their face with both hands is a form of communication to the other party that you want their undivided attention. Eye contact usually conveys that you have something to share or say. A slight invasion of body space is always a good beginning. It gives intent, without going too far. As they say in the movie “While You Were Sleeping”, there should be leaning. Feeling another’s breath fan across your face can bring an exquisite sense of anticipation. Anticipation of the kiss can sometimes be better then the kiss itself, though not always :0).
There should be just the barest brush of ones lips across the brow, the cheekbone, and the sides of the mouth before the lips themselves briefly meet.
If all goes well then a second sliding of the lips can occur. Not so briefly. But no tongue.
A kiss should communicate attraction-definitely-but intent as well. There should be respect for one another as well. With a kiss, you can tell a person how much you like them, cherish them, wish them well, etc. It should be a promise for another kiss, a longer kiss and maybe something more.
Think about it this way, you do not grab a rose by the stem to smell it-you would get hurt from all those thorns. No, you would lean in and delicately handle it to bring it closer so that you can smell its sweet fragrance. And the only parts of your body touching would be your hands, and your face. Just as you would caress the petals of that rose so would you caress partners’ face-with gentleness and respect.