1. The Weather Channel: Give me your personality forecast. Are you sunny, wet, windy, or cloudy? Why? I’m cloudy with a bit of wind. That’s just how I feel.
2. The News Channel: What is the breaking news story of the day in your world? She Never Left her Pajamas. Local Hawaiian mother stayed in PJ’s all day long, looks like there’s a link to the clouds with the bit of wind.
3. The Economic Channel: How are things on the economic front? And more importantly, do you have ideas to save the planet from financial ruin? Economies suck. If we don’t stop our gratuitous spending we’re all going to starve-Everyone but the farmers that is and the only reason they aren’t is because of the NRA.
4. The Entertainment Channel: Give us the latest blog celebrity gossip. Dish it! All newbie actors went on strike when they realized none of them could act worth a damn. Some of the senior actors/actresses have closed down their acting schools as they have no hope for future talent. All screen writers went out of work-No one could come up with an original idea.
5. The Sports Channel: Make up a sport, give your team a name and choose five players from the list of names on the Mr. Linky list. What are the rules of the game? Dodge car- Unfortunately because no one has been able to survive (even the drivers) everyone on the list has been cycled through.
6. The Comedy Channel: How will you make us laugh today? Tell us a blunny (that’s blog + funny for all you non-blog speakers) hmmm, Laughter. Short of smacking Michael Jackson’s caretaker, telling Opera she needs new material (aren’t we all sick of Dr. OZ yet?) or poking fun at Paula Abdul yet again there are will be no funnies today.
7. The Religious Channel: Make up a blog religion. Tell us why your blog church will save our souls. Church of I Don’t Give a Shit. We save your souls by letting you not have to deal with all the copious amounts of crap that people deal with on a daily basis. Here in Blog Religion, the release of not giving a crap allows time for more reflection and spiritual freedom once you get past all of your surrounding garbage. In fact by not giving a shit, there should be no reason why anyone should be going through a spiritual crisis.
8. (but who’s counting?) The Soap Opera Channel: What is the name of your soap opera? As We Screw Our Selves and the World Around us…